First of all let me tell you that look forward to going to my psychiatrist "LU" I see her about every 6-8 weeks for medication adjustment if I need it. Usually these days I don't. I like going because I have been seeing her since 2003 and it's so great to catch up on life. She knows me, she knows my ups and downs and how I am sometimes more than I do. I have been having a lot of stress and in return that causes my mind to race. It's like someone is taking the remote control to the T.V. and switching the channels as fast as they can. I don't sleep so well or if ever. So she increased one of my medications which is Buspar.
I should also tell you that the reason I think for my anxiety is due to the fact that my parents are moving to the sunny state of Florida in about 4 months. I have always been close to my folks and this is a big adjustment. Not having my mom just down the block will be odd. But I am happy for them they deserve to retire where they want. They have always been in my life and more so because of the mental illness I endure. They have put up with so much and now that I am stable and doing so much better I think they can breathe again and know that I will be o.k.
So after my hour appointment with "LU" we decided to take a small road trip to Ho Chunk Casino in Baraboo, WI. I don't recommend this if you are manic. I have done this before when I was and lost well over 2 grand just in $1.00 slots. Didn't take me that long to lose either. This is the sad part of being Bi Polar. But, we each took $25.00 and went our separate ways. I wasn't too excited about playing slots without actual money coming out. I really miss that. There is way too many slot machines in that Casino and being anxious didn't help the fact that I was ill. I played 5 cent slots and actually left coming out ahead. We vowed never to go back again.
The drive there was pleasant and after seeing "LU" I had felt better anyhow so enjoying the scenery was awesome. It was windy out that day so having the windows done was a blessing. We haven't done so much as leave the city in a long time. We both suffer from some pretty bad stuff so we were so excited to get away even if it was an hour away.
My advice for anyone shutting themselves in due to being anxious about the world outside is to take baby steps. Go outside your home, just to take a breath of fresh air. The next day go a bit further in your adventure and take a walk down the side walk or to the end of your driveway. Keep adding little by little and before you know it you will be able to have more control over your emotions and how you deal with them.
till tomorrow...
Beth
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